Words are powerful. And when we become moms-in-law and grandmas, the words we speak become even more important because listening ears are multiplied. Whether we want the responsibility of it or not, we are role models for the people we love.
So, how should that impact the way we love ‘grandpa’? Let’s take a look!
NOTE: Perhaps it’s a result of doing so much research during the completion of my masters degree or perhaps I’m just a data nerd. Either way, I love reading scientific studies that explore human behavior. They fascinate me! Why? Because even the most secular studies always – ALWAYS – reveal more about our Creator.
God’s view of the power of words
- When there are many words, sin is unavoidable, but the one who controls his lips is prudent. Proverbs 10:19
- There is one who speaks rashly, like a piercing sword; but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18
- A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1
- The mind of the righteous person thinks before answering, but the mouth of the wicked blurts out evil things. Proverbs 15:28
- Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body. Proverbs 16:24
- Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Proverbs 18:21
- A word spoken at the right time is like gold apples in silver settings. Proverbs 25:11
- It’s not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth. Matthew 15:11
- No foul language should come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29
- For the one who wants to love life and to see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit, and let him turn away from evil and do what is good. Let him seek peace and pursue it. 1 Peter 3:10-11
Some scriptures can be vague or confusing; these are not. God’s Word makes it clear that our words have the power to build or destroy.
Scientific view of the power of words
The BRM Institute reports that positive and negative words have the power to affect us on a deep psychological level and to significantly impact the outcome of our lives. In fact, their study revealed that speaking positively over time improves the perception we have of ourselves and ‘trains our brain’ to see the good in others.
Researchers from the University of Wisconsin-Madison report that “a perpetual state of negativity and dwelling on things that are wrong” create a rut of cynicism that is difficult to escape. And here’s the best part of their report: “Luckily, because every part of your brain works together to interpret stimuli from the world around you…you can use [positive words] to intercept and reshape perceptions.” Love this! I interpret this to mean that we are “Lucky” enough to have brains that overcome the rut of negativity through the healing power of positive words. God’s creation is a-mazing.
A more specific study by author and newspaper columnist, Shaunti Feldhahn, focuses on the thinking and needs of men. Feldhahn found that husbands desperately need their wives to speak words that show respect for them in private and in public, reporting that “men would rather sense the loss of loving feelings from their wives than to be disrespected by them.” Ouch.
Jesus, my default language is sarcasm and I’m so convicted by this combination of research and scripture. Guard my mouth and slam it shut every time I’m about to blurt something out that is hurtful or insensitive. May my words to (and about) my husband be wise and bring healing…may they make our relationship stronger by helping us to see the good in each other, preventing us from getting stuck in a pit of negativity, and assuring him – without a doubt – that he is valuable and that I care about him.
Grandmas, it’s time we take control of our tongues and speak life into our families…starting with our husbands.
This will be easier for some of us, because our husbands already love us so well. (Hallelujah!) For those of us who feel less-loved and less-affirmed by our husbands, here’s something to consider: expectations play a major role in our behavior, causing us to live up (or down) to what others expect. When our words speak life into our husbands, they have the power to transform our marriage. Who knows the miracles that will take place as we surrender ourselves to selfless love and trust God to turn our gracious words into gold!
Please join me in showering our husbands with kindness over the next two weeks. I mean, we have everything to gain! Every day, for the next fourteen days, let’s send a text message, write a message on the bathroom mirror, or tape a note to the coffee pot – that affirms our love and respect for our husbands. We might even get the adult kids involved! I believe God will use these words powerfully to:
- encourage the hearts of our husbands by making them feel loved and appreciated.
- heal any wounds that may be causing harm to our relationships.
- be a shining example of Godly love to our adult kids.
- reshape our own thinking and refocus us on the good stuff.
This will be fun! Click below to print ideas for the 2 Week Text Challenge and then let us know how it goes!
“Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.”
Proverbs 16:24
KRISTI is the author of the Before books and coloring books for children and the Your Soul To Keep one-year prayer book for parents of adults. She writes to inspire parents and grandparents to shine the joy of Jesus into the lives of their families and to laugh without fear of the future (Proverbs 31:25). She and her husband Tim live in Iowa where they love doing life with their sons and daughters-in-law, six grandbabies, and two very spoiled dogs. Contact Kristi at kristi@thelaughinggrandma.com or Facebook Messenger.